WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE

On a day that started to be one that was for sure going to be a long one. I saw it, come down the dirt road. There was dust everywhere, and I started to yell at the fool to slow down. But of course, he did not hear me. There was only one tree near the road, and the way I saw it, he had to be the luckiest man alive. Cause with only one tree to hit, he did a great job of it. There was a bang that the whole county could hear. With parts of the car scattered everywhere. Yes sir, I saw the whole dang thing happen. About the time I was going to spit a little toe back on the ground, I saw it hit. I jumped to my feet and ran down to see. But I did have to stop and get the toe back off the bottom of my foot, cause that stuff will make you spin out you know. Well, anyway, hey mister, you did say I would be on the six o’clock news, did you not? Oh, okay, I will, I see, then you don’t want me to say stuff about my toe back, say mister, you mad at Old John? Where is my manners at? Do you want a chew of my toe back, sir? NO, I made this myself mister, and the hogs only rolled on it for an hour or so. What’s that? Oh yea, they do the rolling for flavor. Oh the car and the man and tree, okay sir, heck no, I ain’t drunk. I only had a jar of shine today sir. Oh the wreck the man had…. I was saying before you got me off the subject. I had to stop and get the toe back off my foot and when I looked up this big hairy thing kissed me, must have been six feet ten and a good kisser. I was sure that if it wanted to marry I would say I do. Then it took my jar of shine and turned it up and drank even the last drop. I am sure, sir, it was a hairy big, big woman that could drink better than me. Oh yes, sir, she could not drive to good you see, she hit the tree. Heck, what did you want mister, one jar or two?Stay Tuned For Part Two.PART TWO: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 1, '07 5:27 PMfor everyoneOld John had only drank three jars of his selling shine. That was okay, he had lots. The corn was growing good this year and he had already made twenty seven dollars this year. Reading was not something John did, but he would look at the pictures in the wish book. He had two wish books, the big one in the one he liked the best, it had everything a man would want. John was feeling hot, so he unscrewed the jar of shine by the chair. He took a long hard drink, and looked at the tree where the woman, well he thinks it was a woman had hit it. John was starting to get just a little drunk. That is when he saw it coming down the damn road, a car with a flashing light on it. John’s eyes got big and his heart started running wide open. He ran to the tree and got the shot gun. The car did not even slow down, dirt and rocks flew hard all over him. The dust was so thick that it made him thirsty. So John, being the great moonshine man of the south, walked back to the chair and got the jar of shine, he turned it up while thinking it was a close call with the revenuer, so John drank long and hard. His head started to spin and he thought he saw the woman again. She had his jar! Holy crap, she was drinking the whole jar. Old drunk John thought she was one hell of a woman. The next thing John remembered was his clothes were gone, and his money and shine was to. He stumbled up to the house and his old lady saw him. He had lip stick all over his face and his privates. She ran in the house and came back out, swinging a fry pan. Old John tried to run like the wind for about ten feet before he fell down, stinking drunk you know. That’s when she hit him, not just once, but three times. John went into dream land.Stay Tuned For Part Three.PART THREE: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 2, '07 12:08 PMfor everyoneTwo whole days went by before Old John opened his eyes. Damn was the only word he said as he laid there in the dirt. John was trying to think, but everything hurt, even the pea brain he had. He knew that someone was there, but he did not care, besides he could not get up. Then like music to his ears, he heard her voice as she said, move old man and I will kill you. John wondered what kind of crap he had got into. The he passed out again. Old John came to again, butt naked and tied to the stove, in the eating room. There was a woman, a good looking woman, walking from the other room back into the eating room where he was. So, she said, you come to you old fart. Remember me? John did, but he was not going to talk until he could see his way out. She seemed to get mad at him cause he was not saying or remembering her, take your pick, John didn’t know. Then his mind wondered, where was his wife? Did this woman kill her? Did his wife hire this woman to kill him? Hell, John’s head hurt so bad, he wished someone would put him down. Yea, look what I found, good pants, and a new John shirt! That pissed John off and John said, put my suit for Sunday stuff back, that’s mine. She laughed at him and started to take her pants and stuff off. John’s eyes got bigger and bigger, then spit started to fall from his mouth. John said damn! You are a hell of a woman! Then he remembered that first day when she had kissed him, and took his shine jar. Old John started to smile, and the woman came over butt naked to John and said, old man, you can’t handle this, I am too much woman for an old drunk like you. Besides, I am a lesbian, you get it? I love to get me a gal or two from town to town. That’s the way John’s luck was running, bad to worse. Then he heard the sound coming from outside, she jumped to her feet and said shit, the cops! She put her pants and stuff on and ran out the back door. The cops, about three minutes later, came on a loud horn and said, we know that you are in there Jane and we are here to take you in, dead or alive. If you don’t come out, we will start shooting! John peed all over himself. Hey, John yelled, Hey, don’t shoot. I’m John the moonshine man, she is gone. The door was kicked off the door frame and in came cops from everywhere.Stay Tuned For Part Four.PART FOUR: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 15, '07 7:48 AMfor everyoneLet me tell you, John had never seen so many cops in all of his life. There were everywhere, in the door, coming in the windows, everywhere I tell you. It sure would have been great if they had untied him, but they just let Old John lay there. The she cat, they called Jane, was fighting one hell of a fight. Old John felt someone behind him undoing the tape. Hell, that hurts, John yelled. Then he peed on himself. Cops started backing up just a little. John did not care as long as his toe back did not get peed on. The cops took Jane out the door and John said she took my money and I want it back, you all hear? The cops saw all the moonshine jars and looked at John and said. Do you want to go to jail or do you want to give to our Christmas fund? John thought about it, and said, I guess I is a Christmas fund man this year. The cops smiled and left John sitting in his pee. John got his toe back and bit off a chew. Damn women screw up your world every time. All you have to do is look at one damn woman. The Jane had cost Old John a lot o money, nearly thirty eight dollars. He would get it back cause people liked his moonshine.Stay Tuned For Part Five. Coming Soon.PART FIVE: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 15, '07 6:46 PMfor everyoneJohn had went down to the creek to wash up. He sure did believe in a good cleaning about every ten days or when the dog couldn’t stand the smell of him and would run away. The sky was sunny and the days were long, so Old John had high hopes that he would have a taste of shine by night fall. Now there would not be none for sale for two more days, cause Old John had to have his jars just right. John was washing and was thinking, that’s when John would step in crap most of the time. But this time, John was thinking of his wife. He had done and run her off. Well, John thought that makes number five, I do believe. John was thinking of who he could get to do the cooking but John just could not think of anyone. He got all cleaned up and ran around in the field to dry off. He put his old pants back on and started to go to the still, the moonshine making place. After he got the fire going, and the jars in place, he hurried down the path to his cousin Red’s home. John was all clean with his hair pushed back, he scared Red and he almost shot John. Old John saw Red up in the tree and knew that Red was making shine. So John gave the yell of the bird loud and clear. Red came out of the tree cussing and smiling as he fell to the ground. Yep, Red was drunk again. John told Red about all the crap that had happened and Red told John that he would see to it that John got a new woman. That’s when Red had an idea! I have the woman for you John, Red said and we will drink on it. John was still a little foggy from the ass beating Jane had given him, so he just said, Okay, Cousin Red, I knew to come see you, blood and all. They sat and ate, then started drinking some good old shine. Red waited until John was about drunk and said, Here she is John, and she is ready to mate right away. John looked up and poor Old John peed his pants again. She had to be the ugliest woman he had ever seen.Stay Tuned For Part Six. Coming Soon.PART SIX: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 17, '07 12:15 PMfor everyoneJohn was so drunk that the jar of shine fell to the floor. Sweetie, that was ner name, ran over and cleaned up the mess that John had made. Damn, John thought. If she is this ugly when I am drunk, she must be a dog from hell. John was going to say, Hell No!! when the lights went out. Poor Old John woke up feeling like his head was the size of the truck out back. He could smell food. Heck, someone was cooking. Maybe his honey pie came home!! Hot damn, John sat up and looked across the room and started to call out, when he saw the ugly on ugly on what he guessed was an old dog of a woman that he’d ever seen. Sweetie saw him and ran right over and kissed him on the lips!! Oh John, I have been waiting all day for you to wake, John I am with child!! I told you I was fertile and I am so happy you married me and all. I want more John, give sweetie more of that good lovin John. Old John by this time had done peed on himself again. For once in John’s life, he could not speak a word. For being an old moonshiner in the hills, John had seen a lot of crap the last few days. Must be the dog days of hell.Stay Tuned For Part Seven.PART SEVEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 21, '07 10:43 PMfor everyoneIt took John about ten minutes to figure out that he and she had done the nasty. Old John peed a little on his leg again. Seems that John was peeing a lot on himself lately. Sweetie had cooked a great meal for John and he had almost talked to her. But when he looked at her, he was scared and peed on himself. Sweetie just thought Old John peed on himself cause he was not pottie trained well. She had a man and that’s all that she cared about. She thought now was a good time to set the ground rules of their marriage. John, you listen and you listen good. Little Sweetie is going to run things around here and if you don’t like it, I will beat the crap all out of you until you do. With that said, get your sorry butt out and start making shine, you old dumb stud. I will be to see in one hour. Oh, don’t even think about running away. My brothers and two uncles will be watching ya. Now, get to shine making. Old John walked out slowly, thinking that he was screwed for sure. He got the fire going and in about forty five minutes he had a taste in the drinking cup. He drank it all down and could feel it hit him hard in the gut. Damn that’s good, John said to himself. John pulled his toe back out and bit off a chew. Life was good out here with the moonshine still.Stay Tuned For Part Eight.PART EIGHT: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 24, '07 2:42 PMfor everyoneJohn had been out in the woods making shine for three days. Johnny law can smell the corn mass five miles away. By this time, John knew that he better stop or he would go to jail. So down the path he went to the house. He was almost there when he heard sounds coming from the bushes, so Old John took a look see. WOW, two young girls no older than seventeen or eighteen. Nice, very nice, washing themselves with their long johns on. John said, howdy girls, Old John here. The girls did not even act scared. Hey, good looking, come over here, let us see you in the full. That did it, John had been invited to a washing of the johns!!! There is a God, there is for sure, John thought. He hurried over and took his pants off. The girls could see Old John was hung good and right away could see that he was not going to get away! John said, let me introduce myself, I is John, the shine man, and you is?? The one with the headlights on bright said, my name is Kate and my sister is Easygirl. We was burned out two weeks ago. The Turner gang, about thirty five miles from here killed our Pa and brothers. We are all that’s left. John thinking fast said, do you want to stay with me? Well, the girls said at the same time, does this mean you will keep us? We will do anything you say, we surely will. So John started telling the girls about big old Sweetie. How she had beat him and said they was married and all he knew was he had been drunk. The girls looked at him and Easygirl said, John, she had to go. If we are to move in. Yes, John said, but how? Kate smiled and said she will be out of there in a few babe, you will see. Where is a shovel, John honey? I got some digging to do.Stayed Tuned For Part Nine.PART NINE: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 25, '07 11:49 AMfor everyoneEasygirl had the shovel and Old John had seen men that could not dig like this woman! In less than an hour, she had a hole as deep and as big as a truck. You did say John, that she was a big woman, didn’t you? Old John had known that the girls was going to kill Sweetie, that was for sure. John had a while to think and he was wondering why these girls was taking up with him so fast. That’s when Old John said, Easygirl, what’s your last name? She looked at John and said Smith, why is something wrong? John could hardly talk. Smith, as in the axeman Smith? Yes, that was my daddy, best corn man in three states. What did they do to him? Kate had just walked up and heard his question. She said, the cops shot all of Easygirls and my kin folks, dead as hell. Would have killed us but Pa said that we were to come this way, to find a stud of a moonshiner to start the bloodline again. Wow, and you are picking me? Easygirl said without love in her words, John, we have some killing and someone to bury. Then we will start making babies and shine. Then Kate smiled and Easygirl rubbed John on the leg and the girls giggled a little. Old John almost peed on himself again. Kate told John to wait there at the hole and her and Easygirl ran off into the woods. John was raised the same as these girls, so all the killing and shine making went hand in hand. Boy, was he getting lucky or what?Stay Tuned For Part Ten.PART TEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 26, '07 4:56 PMfor everyoneEasygirl let Kate make the plan, cause she had been with Pa the most and she was also the youngest. As they thought, Sweetie was drinking Old John’s shine on the porch. The girls knew that a ugly woman like Sweetie would have to hear good, cause a woman even an ugly one wanted a man and she would have to hear them coming so she could catch them. They would run away if she let them see two tons of fun and her ugly face also. Kate told Easygirl that they would never get her to the hole, as fat as she was. So they came up with a great plan. Easygirl and Kate rubbed mud all over themselves, then they ran out in the clearing in front of the house. Easygirl cried out. Is you Miss Sweetie? A man is hurt and he needs you bad. Sweetie jumped to her feet and said John? I don't know, Miss, are you Sweetie, his wife? Sweetie said, Yes, I am! Come fast, Miss, come, he is hurt and we can not pick him up to bring him. Sweetie ran after the girls into the woods, faster and faster the young girls ran. Sweetie was about to pass out when they came to Old John. Easygirl ran behind Sweetie and jumped her with the blade in her hand. Her blood shot out of her like a pig on Sunday morning. When Easygirl came off her back, Kate pushed Sweetie in to the hole. They loved this wildness they had always known, kill or be killed. Old John hurried and threw dirt over Sweetie. The girls started smiling and making purring sounds. John knew that these moonshine girls where ready to be laid down and that was what he was going to do. After Sweetie was buried and they had went back to the house the girls took turns with John. Kate afterwards, all washed up, said, John, we are your women now. We are young and will need servicing three times a day. We have needs to, ya hear? Old John smiled and said, I hear ya. There was a sound outside and John knew that it would be the brothers of Sweetie. He looked at the girls and Easygirl put a finger to her mouth. Kate got behind the door. John opened the door and for sure, there was Ted, Sweetie’s brother. Easygirl run past John and said, Sweetie said there was a big man a coming. Ted smiled and Easygirl asked if there were more coming. Ted said no maam. Easygirl said, Just call me Easy, darling. Ted was in love. She took his hand and walked him into the house. Kate cut his neck vein and Ted dropped to the floor. Kate looked at Old John and said, How many more babe?Stay Tuned For Part Eleven.PART ELEVEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 30, '07 2:43 PMfor everyoneKate went out doors and got the wheel barrel so they could bury Ted.. Easygirl was all over Old John. Kate said to her, Stop that girl, you can ride when the killing is done. So they wheeled Ted out and buried him. John knew that it was cooking time for the moonshine, so he told the girls to get the red boom sticks and they would head to Sweetie’s daddies still. When they was near they talked awhile then went in three ways. After ten minutes, John was where he needed to be. So he waited, when he heard it, the sound of a little bird, he lit the sticks one after another and the girls did the same. When the smoke cleared, there was a big hole in the ground where the old still had been. All of Sweetie’s kin were laying dead on the ground. John and the girls left right away just in case someone came along. Two months later, Old John, Kate and Easygirl were the only moonshiners left on the hill. They had killed all the others and were selling shine to everyone else. Nobody wanted to piss these moonshine people off. Easygirl and Kate had a strong need for riding John and were more than helpful at the shine making. Easy girl had been throwing up in the morning for two days and John knew she was with child. This made John want more and made him a proud man. Kate wanted to be with child also, so she rode John more and more. Three weeks went past and John was about to beg for a break when Kate said, John, I think I have been made a whole woman, I am with child to. Between selling shine and having to do his women all the time John was tired. He told the girls that he was going to town to get things they would be needing. He would be gone a few days. John was not scared to leave the girls by themselves, he was more worried about anyone walking the wrong way in the hills. Lord knows, there were too many bodies buried up on that hill.Stay Tuned For Part Twelve.PART TWELVE: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Dec 30, '07 7:55 PMfor everyoneOld John knew not to show off in town. Being the smart man that he was, when he saw a dead dog, he stopped and rubbed some rotten flesh on himself. Damn, he stuck, that made him smile from ear to ear. As he got almost to town, he noticed that people had been building houses and stuff out near the creek. John passed a woman that ran as soon as she smelled John. He just laughed out loud. He walked into the store and saw the store clerk with an old woman. He waited, smiled and walked over a little closer. The woman’s eyes got very big as she hurried out the door. The store clerk said, I guess you are next John. John looked at him and said real soft, lock the door old man, we’ve got some dealing to do. The store clerk did as John said and watched as John pulled out from under his nuts a sack of money. John popped it down on the counter and said, I need a lot of stuff this time, you hear me old man. The old man took John’s order and told him that the best men in town would deliver the goods to his place later that afternoon. John looked him in the eye and said, Hear this old man, and hear it good, if one of those men are the law or give me trouble, I will be back and you Sir, will walk no more. Do ya understand me? Yes, I do Sir, I will get right on it. He left and was back in less than twenty minutes with ten of the best he men he could find. John told them loud and clear, my name is John and if you break my stuff, I will kill you. Do you get it? All of the men just nodded their heads, and started picking up the stuff. Everyone was outside to see the man that had bought most of the store. All the way home, John was smiling and walking faster and faster. He ran up to the door, opened it and saw Kate setting there with Easygirl laying down. Women, I have made it back with most of the stuff we need. The men started bringing in the stuff, damn, there was a lot of it. When they were done bringing in the stuff, John said lets go outside and leave my women to put this stuff up. John gave each one a jar of shine, his best shine. Men, I need two rooms built in a hurry. Are any of you willing to work for food and shine?Stay Tuned For Part Thirteen. It Will Blow Your Mind.PART THIRTEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 1, '08 5:51 PMfor everyoneAll but three of the men said they would work for John. John looked at each one of them, and said, my women will cut you to pieces if you think of messing with our stuff! Peter, the tall blue eyed ugly one said, John, when do we start? Morning men, morning. Let us drink and eat men, the work will be here in the morning. Easygirl was so sexy the way she walked and all that the men would run into each other sometimes watching her. Easygirl would stop and rub herself a little and smile. The girls were both getting big by the time the first room was done. Kate was a woman that liked to control her man, and she knew that she was good at it with Old John and besides that, John had all the wood a woman would ever want in his pants. John had started to take a bath in the creek on Tuesdays and while he did the girls would watch, shot guns in hand. Kate had heard it first, then Easygirl. The woods got quiet and John, old fox John, broke off a reed and under the water he went. Seconds later, five men came out in the open carrying guns, one had a whip in his hand. Easygirl moved up fast behind them and Kate to the side, they never knew what happened. The men working on the house heard the screams and gun shots, but only Peter and Ed came running to help. Ed said, Damn, you woman are some mean ass ladies. I will got get a set of shovels for the burying. Peter helped Kate pull the bodies out to an opening away from the water. Kate said to Peter, we don’t need no help, we can do for ourselves. So when Ed came back they all dug the holes and kicked the bodies in. That night John, Kate and Easygirl set and talked for a long time. The money was so good, they were the richest people around anywhere. Morning came and the men started working after breakfast. Easygirl told Ed and Peter to help her do some work in the wood shed. When they got there, John and Kate were standing there waiting. Kate said, men, we have some talking to do. Peter was fast at the brain stuff, he said, yep, sure ma’am. Ed just stood there and if John had not started telling them why they were there, Ed would have never known. Ed was slow at thinking real things, he just liked shine and screwing. John told them how the shine was selling great since he was the only moonshine man around and he needed good help from men that he could trust. He told them that he did not want the other men to know anything. They all agreed and that was when Easygirl told John, now me and Kate love to screw but we don’t need three men. Don’t you think we need at least one more woman up here in this gang to satisfy your men? John smiled big and said no man screws my women and yes we will hunt up two of the best and hard working women we can find. Let me think on it. Okay, Peter and Ed, ya all go back and work with the other men and tell them there will be one more room to be built. Two weeks went by and the third room had almost been built. On Wednesday of the third week, the men finished all the work. John gave each of the men two dollars and a gallon of shine. The men left happy and were singing songs as they went walking down the path. The five of them set at the table and made a plan of action. Peter and Ed was in need of women in a real bad way. John could tell and he knew that he would have to do something fast. John asked Peter, have you seen any women folks that got your eye? Peter leaned back and said, yep, near town there is a few I like. John said, we will send the girls here to visit and see if there Pa’s would like to trade.Stayed Tuned For Part Fourteen.PART FOURTEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 5, '08 4:32 PMfor everyoneEasygirl being the youngest, walked up to the house that was down by the creek. Kate and her saw the young girl washing clothes out back. They had waiting til the man of the house was alone. She knocked on the door and the door opened real fast, so fast that it scared Easygirl. Yes, Oh My, Yes, Can I help you little Miss? Easygirl took a long hard look at the man and said, I see you like what you see? Oh, yes indeed, the man said. She said, I will get to the point, Sir, I am one of the shine makers that you get your shine from. You do drink? Don’t you? Yes, oh yes I do. Easygirl got up close and said, Sir, I am here to deal with you if you want. The man stepped back and said, I don’t know, what do I have to deal with? Easygirl just smiled and got just a little closer to him. She put her hand on him and rubbed very soft, she said, you have lots to give a woman in need. The man almost passed out for sure. Easygirl said is there somewhere we can talk by ourselves? The she rubbed herself just a little, the man said sure, and shut the door and out in the words they went. Kate and the others stayed close but not so the man could see. Ed and Peter had waited til they had gone way out in the woods before they went behind the house. The women folk smiled and Ed and Peter. The oldest said, what may we do for you sirs? Peter said, ladies, today we have come for wives and we have our eyes on you two. The girls did not think any men would want them cause to get married your Pa had to have an offering to give the man to take the girl. Ed looked at Peter and said, I want the little one with the big milk jugs. What’s your name babe doll? She looked at Ed and said, they call me Honey. And Sir, do you mean you will take me to keep? Yes, Ed said, that is what we mean. Peter was more into wanting a woman that screwed good but was a worker. So he said, who is the hardest worker? The long legged one said she was and that her name was Candy. Peter said, pull up your dress girls, let’s see what we are getting. They did and Ed peed on himself just like Old John. Candy and Honey went into the house and without the first thought, got their few things and came back out. Out of the woods came the man and Easygirl. Honey saw the man first and just stood there. The man said, girls, you will be fine, your life will be better than you have had here. Go with my blessings. Old John sat the ten jars of moonshine on the step and everybody started back to the house in the woods. John looked at the girls and said, you listen to me and listen good, we are shine makers and you will help. I will teach you everything you need to know. By morning, I want Ed and Peter to be pleased with you as well, do you hear me? Honey was smiling as she said, we are but girls now, but by morning, we will be women, well screwed women. So off to the cabin they went.Stay Tuned For Part Fifteen.PART FIFTEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 6, '08 10:26 AMfor everyoneThe night was a wild and lust filled one for all, even Old John got his fill of lovin. Easygirl and Kate were not going to let John do without. Come morning, Honey and Candy were laid out on the floor side by side with their legs wide open and a grin a mile long. Candy looked at Honey and said, you know, I could get to love this. I want more! Honey just smiled, she was very tired but well satisfied. Peter stayed in the out house a long time. He was thinking about things to come and wondering if he was man enough to satisfy his woman. What was that, Peter said to himself? Shots! Gun Shots! Peter ran out of the out house and saw three men coming out of the woods with guns. Easygirl had already shot four men dead, and had a fifth one in sight. Old John had been shot once and was laying on the floor. Kate was as mad as hell. She came out of the house with a knife in her hand, and a wild look in her eye that could kill by itself. There was so much shooting going on that Honey and Candy had hid under the new bed. Then just like it had started, it stopped. Ed came out from the shed, where he had gone for cover, and Kate and Easygirl, both covered with blood, ran to Old John. John, yelled Kate. Easygirl got to him first, he was still breathing, amen. Easygirl looked at Kate and smiled a little half smile. John asked how everyone was. Kate looked up and saw the gang standing around looking down at them. She said, we are all still here with you John. Then Old John peed on himself. Easygirl smiled, Oh John, there are better things to do with your thing than pee.Stayed Tuned For Part Sixteen.PART SIXTEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 6, '08 6:47 PMfor everyoneKate had turned into a good boss, since John was shot. She was running the whole moonshining and drinking! Honey was more of a work horse than Peter or Ed and Easygirl, well she was taking care of John most of the time. Seeing that both woman were about to have rug rats, the harder work was for the new ones in the gang. Night fall had come and everyone was bedded down when Easygirl yelled louder than a mule on Sunday, IT’S COMING! Hell, help me Kate! By morning there was a set of twin boys, and I mean well hung boys, just like their Pa. Easygirl was so proud of herself, two boys on the first go round! Hell yea, she said, look Kate, at the size of the weinie’s on them boys, they sure are something. Peter said, I have seen men with less. They all took turns holding the boys and then they went back to work. Kate’s time was coming and she knew that she would sure be happy to get the little bugger out of her. Old John was sitting up with a big chew of toe back in his mouth when he smelled the god awful smell. The babies had both crapped, at the same time, right next to Old John.Stay Tuned For Part Seventeen.PART SEVENTEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 7, '08 8:02 PMfor everyoneAfter them kids crapped on Old John he got well fast. About eight days and John was up at the still all happy and drinking the drippings from the still. Peter came over and sat next to John and told him that Ed and him was much in kind to John and his lady folks. He told John that they were working the girls, Candy and Honey real hard so that John would be proud of them. Old John thought for a minute and said, Peter, Ed and you need to slow down a little. I counted the jars and there are two hundred and eighty six gallons of shine to sell. That’s more than we can sell in eight months. Now it is time to slow the still down to a slow drip. All the slow drip shine will be put in the shed, in the trees over there, you hear? Peter smiled and gave the sign, and John said, yep. Come supper time, Honey came round and got everyone to come eat. All but Ed was there, he had gone to town to get sugar, lots and lots of sugar! Easygirl was putting the beans on Honey’s plate when she saw Candy’s legs wide apart and asked her, are you okay, girl. Candy got a little red in the face and said she would be okay. Kate looked over at John hard so John said, Candy, what is it girl? Spit it out, I don’t have all day. Candy said, I hurt down on my cooter brown. My man is so big and he is always in need of me. I want him but I need a rest, just two or three days. John agreed that a rest was in order. Baby making could wait for a while.Stay Tuned For Part Eighteen.PART EIGHTEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 9, '08 6:49 PMfor everyoneThe days were long and hot, the gang was living easy down by the old dirt road. Easygirl had taken to throwing rocks at the bible thumpers. Every once in a while, she would beat the crap out of one of them and if there wasn’t much to do, Kate would sing and Old John would play the mandolin. Ed stomped his foot sometimes. All in all, it was a happy time for all of them. They had a very large moonshine supply. Old John had the still making slow drip, white silk corn shine. Yes they were very happy. Honey was cooking in a pot on the fire and it was smelling so good the dogs even had a grin on their faces. For about two months, things had been quiet and Old John was starting to get worried, things never go for long without the world burning down around more folks. Candy came to the outside table with a bowl of vegetables and some plates. Easygirl looked at the others like a wild woman and ran to the creek. She came back, as wet as hell, but she looked clean with a smile. They all set at the table. Honey came over with the pot of slop and the feeding was on.Stay Tuned For Part Nineteen.PART NINETEEN: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 11, '08 11:17 AMfor everyoneWell, summer came and passed by fast, now winter was almost over to. Six little rug rats with four of the happiest women around. All boys but one and Old John was so proud of that little girl, he kept her with him and even cleaned the crap up after the beans fell. Now, we all know that is rough. They had named them Bud, Junior, Pete, Bill, Roy and John’s little sunshine girl, Cornie. The year was Nineteen Fifty One and things in town were hopping good. Ed came back in the early spring one day and said, if they filled out the papers that he had brought back with him, that the moonshine would be sold in the store and bar in town. Old John said, yea and the law will be up here to kill us to. Ed explained it to them all real slow. Easygirl got up and took her pants off and started to sit back down when John said, girl are you with child again? Easygirl said, yes and I think Candy is to. Peter looked like he just got the idea of his life, and then he jumped up and said, we can name it after your Old man John. John said, what the hell are you talking about Peter? About selling the shine in the store. We could put a name on it. We have hundreds of gallons of the best slow drip shine in the world. Ed said, lets call it Fighting Cock, that’s a great name for a mean ass drink. Kate had sat there quiet until then and she said, I like it John. Old John’s eyes looked at her and he said, Fighting Cock Whiskey, that is it ya all, Kate has spoken. So they all put there X on the paper work and Ed took it back to town. Old John took no chance with the law. While Ed was gone, they all waited with their guns ready.Stay Tuned For Part Twenty.PART TWENTY: WALK A MILE TO NO WHERE…Jan 6, '08 10:26 AMfor everyoneEd was gone for nearly two days. John went around to each one and drank a little shine with them and gave each one some bread. Honey was in the house when she heard three shots and she knew that Ed was coming, but there was something else cause three shots meant beware!!! She ran to the door and she saw it first, it was not one, but five cars and trucks coming down the dirt road with Ed standing up in the back of one of the truck beds waving, saying it’s me ya’all!! It’s me!!! They all held their position, til Old John walked out and talked a minute to Ed. Then John waved his gun and pointed it down. Easygirl was running around, acting like a fool. Ed jumped down and introduced the big man with a cigar as Mr. Jack Daniels. Ed told John, Jack wants to talk to you about selling your shine. Jack knew if this was going to work out for himself, he better step in with both feet. He took a big pull on his cigar and said, Want one? John looked at it and pulled out his toe back and said, Hell no, this is good for me. Jack said, Can I try some? Sure you can Jack, and John bit off some and handed it too Jack. They both chewed and spit. Jack, said John, I’ll be damn, my eyes are watering. What’s this chew got in it? Old John laughed out loud, saying, sweet corn moonshine of course. I soak it for about three, sometimes four days. Jack seeing his chance, said, John, can we talk? John called the others and they all went into the house with Honey and all the rug rats. The other men waited outside at the cars and trucks. Jack started telling the gang about what he thought was a great plan. To make and sale Old John’s shine that was, if John would go for it. The way I see it John, if you sale two kinds, you will make and sale more for sure! Ed had laid the paper work out for John and the rest to see, but not one of them could read it! Kate, the smartest one, said, Mister, you look me in the eye, and you hear what I have to say. Jack did and it scared the hell out of him, he could see the meanness in this woman. We are moonshiners, the only ones around here. I guess you already know, if you do us wrong, not only will you die, but your wife and kids, as well as the rest of your kin, will die, while you watch. Then we will cut your balls off, and leave you for dead too. Jack peed right there on the spot. Kate did not smile or take her eyes off Jack’s face. Old John said, I see we have an understanding? Jack said, Yes Sir, John, I do understand, and I will not cross you. I will go back to town and hire some men to come out and build a big shed, so that we can start a second still, and get paper tags for the bottles. We need to come up with another name for the other one to be called. Oh yea, John, I am going to leave the black Chevy truck for you to use. Easygirl and Candy looked at each other, and Honey said, Hell mister, we can not operate one of them things! Jack said, One of the men out there will show ya’all. So ya’all, I will be off.Stay Tuned For Part Twenty One.PART 21 WALK A MILE TO NO WHEREFeb 10, '08 7:30 PMfor everyoneHoney had been caring for the kids while Old John and the rest of the gang was driving the truck..That night Old John sat on the front steps to the house and he said "I can not remember when the last time i did not hear a gun shot at less every ten minutes.Pete looked up at the sky and said yep sure is quiet out tonight..Easygirl sat very still looking at the fire when Ed said very low "you hear that ," Kate had the shot gun up and ready fast as hog fat on a sunday morning.. Damn she looked so fine standing thier. Honey was in the woods when the truck came rolling up in the yard. The man yell from within the truck John! John! it is me Jack I have good news !!! Honey was right behind him with her ball bat when John said come on up and sit with us Jack.Honey and easygirl both looked so so sad ,they seem to miss the killing and blood gut cutting ...After a few months went by the whole gang was feeling the blues.Candy was the first to say something about it . Ya do you think we could just go hunting or just kill something !!! I got this big need within me... So the men folks started to plan for a hunting day ..The moonshine was being made by hired help and the gang had lots of money with nothing to do.. Well nothing was a under statement they still had the rug rats to look after. Cornie the only girl , would on a daily basis beat the crap out of all the boys and still have time to help with the cooking in the afternoon. Jack came back in a car that looked like a big boat,he jumped out and ran up the steps and in the house John ,! Jack said ,I got the labels for the first mason jars to be sold with a name on them .!!! Jack laid out on the table a few lables some said "Fighting Cock Whiskey" and the others said " Jack Daniels Whiskey" ...Jack said John we will sale the Fighting Cock for two dollars a jar , and the Jack Daniels we will sale for three dollars a jar ...We are going to be rich ,!! RICH!!! stay tune for part 22